What a Waste

Jesse Barfield was in the broadcast booth for half an inning this past flashback Friday. Although Jesse had a lot to say and was very interesting to listen to, one comment stuck out beyond others. By watching one Vernon Wells at bat, Jesse concluded that Vernon’s front elbow was coming out, thus disrupting his whole swing and limiting the power in his swing. It took one at bat for Jesse to notice this. One at bat. Vernon Wells has not hit a homerun in 22 games!

Earlier in the season, Lyle Overbay pointed out to Vernon that his front foot was coming down closed when he swung the bat. Vernon made the proper adjustment and then proceeded to play one of the better stretches of ball he had all year. A teammate noticed this. A teammate.

This begs the question, and although “begs the question” is cliché, this really begs the question, “what the fuck is Mickey Brantley doing?” Seriously, he is fucking useless. A tit on a bull has more use. An ashtray on a motorcycle has more use. Air conditioning in the arctic has more use. You get the point. Mickey Brantley is useless, so useless that he is close to making a very special list. Mickey is days away joining the likes of Shea Hillenbrand, Erik Hanson, Richard Griffin, Steve Simmons and Joey Hamilton on the Maldonado Over Everything’s official “Waste of DNA” list. Watch out Mick, you have about forty games to change our minds. And it doesn’t look good.

MICKEY BRANTLEY



OFFICIAL “WASTE OF DNA” LIST

JOEY HAMILTON


STEVE SIMMONS


RICHARD GRIFFIN


ERIK HANSON


SHEA HILLENBRAND