Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Stick it to the G-Man

Tonight’s line-up is so horrendous that it needs it’s own post. And in this post I will go on, like I always have done and always will do, to defend my man John Gibbons. But before we get to my little conspiracy theory (or reality theory) I want to go over the line-ups from the last few games.

As of a week ago the line-up plays normal, and had been to that point in the year. The next night is another normal line-up. So why, suddenly, over the past four games are the line-ups so ridiculously stupid? Because Gibby is sticking it to the (General) Man(ager). That’s right, he is doing what so many of us want to do, he is telling JP to go and eat a dick.

Before you get all “that’s crazy” on me, let me explain. Gibby knows it is all about this year. This is the year the Jays have to do it because Boston and New York have a few holes and some young pitchers that need development time. So when hook-nose-fuck-face GM approaches him and says “yeah, I ugh kind of fucked up, make sure Thomas doesn’t get 300 more plate appearances this year,” Gibby’s response, naturally is “but he was our best hitter last year.”

So Gibbons, listening to orders goes and tells Frank. Frank gets pissed, and secretly Gibby is happy because he hopes Frank’s revolt will have him back in the line-up the next day.

However, the next morning Gibby comes in to work only to find out that his number five hitter has been released, despite the fact that an April slump is par for the course with him. Why, was he released? Because of a stupid dumb ass option that everyone new was a bad idea the moment it was signed.

This does not sit well with Gibby. Faced with managing for an organization that clearly will not do what it takes to win, Gibby gives the big fuck off and starts playing scrubs and three catcher/two SS combos. It is a protest that says “Screw off and let me do my job without having to cover for your stupid mistakes.” By sitting Wells, Gibby is drawing attention to the fact that Wells was another stupid contract destined to be released one day. Ditto for Overbay. Why play three shortstops? To show that all three of them suck. It’s the same reason he has two catchers and the gimpy left fielder in the line-up at the same time. Are you telling me Gibby didn’t say “Reed Johnson” as JP said “Shannon Stewart.” Of course he did, but for JP and Paul Godfrey (whom I hate, by the way) it’s about the money. So I say good for you John Gibbons, stick it to the dumb fucks who will fire your ass, at least you’ll get another job.


Anonymous said...

what have I done to deserve this team's front office??

Razzer said...

It's not your fault, look at me, look at me, it's not your fault. It's not your fault.

Dr. K said...

This post is insane, but I like it. It'll be exhibit A of your insanity defence when they find JP beaten to death on Front Street.